Oh... the inspiration....

The other day, I was watching the endless preening and coronation that the Democratic party is ballyhooing about with their contest between whom I feel to be two completely incompetent but obviously Hollywood endorsed Presidential candidates. The Fox web site shows Hillary praying with doe-eyed thanks to her Atheist savior and then puts John McCain as a smaller image to let us know that the contest is rigged already... Thank goodness they tell the truth with images like this. It is good to know where the wind is blowing.

One feels a strange revulsion as they look forward to Hollywood blockbusters but then realize the price of gas is so high, that the only way to see movies is to make stick figures on the lawn and purse your lips for sound effects while remembering the good old days when you could actually see the freaking movie in the first place. Special memories are when your kids try to imitate the THX thunderclap that loosens all but the strongest surgeries and implanted memories from the alien abduction experiences you didn't know you had. Of course, these could also be the subliminal programming that came from the supermarket music that the Democrats play to train you to vote properly... Remember to wear earmuffs next time you head in for milk and chicken.

These are the things that tinged my mind and I wondered, as I set about building my radiation proof bunker and stocked supplies of overpriced tuna amongst the archival copies of Laverne and Shirley, how much my taxes would increase as the Democrats planned their retreat to socialistic nirvana and the punishment of the rich (err... poor, rich, it doesn't matter). Alas, these are unknowable. What is known is that the world shall come to a heat induced end in a blazing stroke of heat created by Republicans who didn't raise taxes high enough to stop global warming.

Never mind that the temperature is actually decreasing and many of us froze our tootsies off this winter. The ice is an illusion the girls at the View tell us. All part of a plot to make us live free and happy while certain doom lurks behind every cloud in the sky. I looked nervously at the sky at this thought... God damned clouds are gonna be the end of us. I want my ice age back so I can live in certain fear of burning fuels to stay warm and I won't have enough time to feel guilty for existing because I'll be running from Mastodons, Russian hunters who migrated here looking for food and environmentalists whose dead bodies gave out while wondering what happened to all the Safeways.

Something nagged at me as I watched Hillary's dance of reprieve and Obama's smirk as he counted his delegates like a card-shark using Valium pills as poker chips. A dim humor crept into my mind, pushing aside future thoughts of heat-death at the hands of my Republican colleagues and fears of a never-ending tax hike to pay for negative ad campaigns against people who think with their frontal lobes.

It suddenly dawned on me that Obama's name held a ring in it that just made me want to rearrange it's spelling... Aha! I made a beeline past the obvious Osama and Hussein references. This was to be more subtle, more invigorating to my brain. A chance to prove my wit. So, I set to work...

Try number one produced: BAOMA - Nope... still no fit. It had potential - even sounded like a fruit one buys at an all-green anti-technology store in downtown Frisco, next to the laptop and WI-FI cafe crowd (one and the same). Go on.

Number two produced AMOBA... Starting to get close... An Amoeba does share certain similarities with regard to presidential experience to the Democrats favorite Camelot poster child. Still, I sensed something needed working...

Child Was Late For Tennis At Club Across The Street LINCOLNSHIRE, Ill. (CBS) ― A man apparently decided to fly his plane onto a golf course in north suburban Lincolnshire so his teenage son would not be late for a tennis lesson.

Police came to the Marriott Resort Crane's Landing Golf Course, at 10 Marriott Dr. in Lincolnshire, around 1:50 p.m. Saturday for a call that a plane had landed on the course.